About a month ago, Anita (a Christian friend from a couple of the forums I haunt) asked me what Samhain means to me. Now that the buzz of the season has calmed, the rites and divinations done for another year, I have some time to put metaphoric pen to paper and ruminate on that question.
Ever since I was young, I've loved Halloween - the costumes, the trick-or-treating, the horror movies, and most of all the faux spooky atmosphere that surrounds the modern holiday. But the atmosphere that modern commercialism has surrounded the night - yes night, because Halloween is not about the daylight hours - with wasn't the only thing that I loved about it. I always vaguely sensed an undercurrent of otherworldly ambiance on this night, something real behind the mask if you will, and even though that current seemed scary at times I still craved it with the curiosity of youth. A trait I never really lost over the years.
Fast forward to the present. To me, Halloween isn't a single night but rather the month of Samhain. It starts on October 1st (Octoberfest in the area I live) with the barest of hints, anticipation of things to come. Throughout the month, day by day, the energy rises and rises until finally the week of Halloween arrives. And then the celebration for me begins.
October 29th, Anton's Day. Back when I first left Christianity and finally the grip of my teachers, the writings of Anton LaVey earned a special place in my heart (why I'll explain at another time). LaVey died on October 29th 1997, and out of respect for the man and his work to this day I raise a glass to honor him and endeavor to perform some act of personal improvement or hedonism (or both) on this night.
October 30th, Devil's Night. A night of pranks, perhaps with a sinister undertone (in Detroit in times past at least). I don't so much do anything in particular on this night (save for the semi-tradition I have of watching the Crow) but rather consider it something of a dress rehearsal for the night to follow. The energies are high enough and the ambiance is so right that any preparatory magical work I may need for the next night finds a home here rather than the daylight hours of the next day. Of course, if someone is irritating me, a prank of some sort is not out of the question. Although this year I was the one who was pranked (some...individuals...have an odd sense of humor).
October 31st, Halloween/Samhain Proper. "It's time again." That simple line from Halloween 3 sums up this night best for me. During the waning daylight hours, I love to be home where I grew up - I like handing out candy to the trick-or-treaters and seeing their costumes. I may be too old to participate, but that doesn't mean I can't enjoy the spectacle. But that's just the appetizer. As darkness falls a couple horror movies fill the last few hours til the real show begins. Because on this night, of all nights, the energy flows strongest, the walls between here and there are the weakest, and the weird becomes much more possible than in the garish daylight of the rest of the year. Midnight, magic hour, and the show begins on this night of power, between times. After the rites and magical work de jour are done, the quiet hours that follow are for divination and remembrance. Looking forward, looking back, contemplating the meaning of things - as I do now - and waiting out the night till dawn brings an end to it. Not out of fear, least some suggest that, but out of reverence. Almost like waiting at the bedside of a dying friend.
November 1st, All Souls Day. A relic of my Catholic upbringing - one of few that remain - November 1st is special for me in the same way the day after Christmas is. Not for itself, but rather as a sort of aftermath. The tide has crested and broke as the sun rises, and all that's left to do is remember the year before and lay plans for the year to come. And feast, a replacement of sorts for the candy trove of childhood.
So there you have it, a short overview of my tradition of Samhain. A blend of pop culture festivities, neopagan religious beliefs, and occultism with a distinctly dark and slightly sinister undertone. Many of my neopagan compatriots would object to this - some more strenuously than others - but for me all of these elements are inextricably linked. It cannot be otherwise, nor would I have it be. It seems though that I've failed in a sense to tell what all this means to me, but then in truth it's not something I can truly explain in words I find. It must be experienced.
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